How can I do all the things that I need to do without going crazy?

honestly this sounds like borderline personality disorder , what i have, ive managed well for years but used to be like this years ago , they way you describe your actions is what i used to do years back ; rage outbursts in public, a build up of stress, feel paranoid, lose it, get into angry confrontations , lash out, pick fights, get cautioned by the police etc - ive been very lucky , i may be wrong but it does sound like bpd, se a psychiatrist to get checked out.